Think it's the dude in glasses and people just living their lives as they're choosing to design them.
ATIKA PATUM - Atikapatum (Official Music Video)
Monday, March 16, 2020
Explore. Let's go to Europe to Dance.
Something about this aesthetic appeals to me.
Think it's the dude in glasses and people just living their lives as they're choosing to design them.
ATIKA PATUM - Atikapatum (Official Music Video)
Think it's the dude in glasses and people just living their lives as they're choosing to design them.
ATIKA PATUM - Atikapatum (Official Music Video)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
think might be getting old.....
I think something strange is happening to me.
Ok, perhaps strange isn't really the world. Cos it’s probably natural. Just I always that if it did it would happen later in life. Not now.
I think, I think I’m broody.
I know. It sounds downright dumb, right?
But then again, not so long ago, it would have been perfectly for someone my age to have at least one child already.
I was walking from the Journ department yesterday, and as I was passing one of the resses, I saw this little pokkaninni. Her suitcase almost as big as her. Ag haai…
And I suddenly had this barely controllable urge to just sweep her up in my arms and cover her in adoring kisses – I wanted that little child there to be mine.
The realisation left me breathless, literally. I can’t say that I didn’t know what to make of it, cos I do. Nature is reminding me of my ultimate calling in life (and to hell with any feminists who want to argue that. There’s so much more to being a woman than child rearing, but by downplaying it, we fail to acknowledge the
divine purpose God entrusted us. While we are given this great gift [and burden] men are denied the joy motherhood can bring…. Oh I’m talking too much. Again.)
The thing is, it’s hard knowing how to deal with it. Wonder what Mom would say. I know what I would want, understanding. And I know she would. The fact that all she wanted to do was get married and have babies since the dawn of time it a well known joke – and truth – in the family.
Maybe I’m just like this because I am (no, really, I AM) craving human contact. And we all know that a simple hug won’t suffice in this case. I need something to love, to dote on. Even an animal. And I know that that would help sooth me, but I’m denied even that: Griselda is far far away at home.
Craving. It’s a good word.
Really, it’s; like a physical hunger. Think now I understand why people trapped on islands try so hard to escape. The loneliness gets to you, you know.
That’s probably why solitary confinement is such a big thing.
And I’m actually quite a solitary person, so you must know.
I’ve just had the MOST horrific random thought. Oh hell! Some little voice in my head just muttered “if the circumstances made it ok, I’d be very happy to be pregnant”….. Um. Don’t want to know what I will think when I read this post after forgetting about it. But, my word, that’s a scary thing to think. What makes it freakier is the fact it’s TRUE!
No, don’t worry; I’m not about to go throw myself at someone and to get my belly full. I’m just hypothesising. IF. If, that’s all. IF I had someone now, and it was normal and ok for it to happen now (as in my whole future wouldn’t 
be messed) then I think I’d be happy about it.
Was watchin family guy today, and in the episode the women were going on about the whole ‘pain of childbirth’ jol. And I thought to myself, hell, it must be incredibly painful. But it’s the kind of pain that I DO want to experience. (I have a feeling I will have a very different take on things when I finally happens). Suppose I see it as a rite of passage, kinda. Something to bitch about, but at the same time, something I wouldn’t trade. Like that other pain, which apparently I won’t feel. Dum as it is, it sucked knowing that. Ug.
I mean, I don’t want just anybody to love, to dote on. To touch tenderly and to have my eyes soften on. But I do want someone. So badly. I know I have so much, asking for more is probably just plain greedy, especially when I have all these things want in conjunction with that specialness. For one thing, I don’t ever want to do the long distance thing again. Ever. A lover should be able to just come round, just randomly hang out. When it’s LD, it’s all so planned, so contrived.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
"Americans are Stupid"
A landslide destroys a community, homes are damaged, belongings lost, and people die.
A month later someone buys the property.....
(marcell)
A month later someone buys the property.....
(marcell)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Ending the term at a new low
It's just too much. Funny how sometimes one can feel so free and other times so trapped. How the world can feel so full of oportunity one day and the next, full of lead.
Few things matter anymore. Nothing really. Mom's faveroute saying of "[In the gand scheme of things,] It doesn't matter."
The phrase "What's the point" seems to echo through everything. There is so much I want, but the endless possibilities are, in the end, my downfall. I could be doing anything, but I always seem to make the wrong choices and end up just watching the world, feeling old and like I've let opportunities fly by me.
I suppose part - probably most - of my problem lies in the fact that I am lazy. So lazy, I wouldn't know where to start describing it. And I do try. But try is all I do.... nothing more. I never succeed. An A type personality pretending and acting like I dont give a shit. I should though.
So many people have worked hard to place me where I am today, and yet......
I was so excited for the new academic year. So burning with plans and goals.
And then it all fell apart.
I know I have only myself to blame.
but I don't know myself like this.
Ambition
Adventure
ill-work-my-ass-off-to-get-what-i-want-when-i-want-it (but accepting the impossible)
A burning desire to be an Individual, at the very least.
Never this indifference.
I still do my work at the last minute, but with a difference. I only do it because I know that if i dont do this, then i might not do the next thing... and pretty soon i would be skiing down a slope impossible to climb back up.
The only classes that I haven't arrived late to have been those which follow directly after another.
Quite simply, I have no drive.
I'm doing it again right now: playing on the root of everything.
I made a list of songs. i didnt choose them based on necessarily on their words, but their sound.
And im listening to it.
I wanted Anthony to listen, but i realise now that he wont.
I did tell him not to, after all. but i still hoped he would. I knew it was dumb telling him about it, but i had to (being the emotional idiot i am) so saying it was daft was the only real defence i could think of. childish huh? you betchya!
for over a week now, i have been going on every now and then to see if there have been any new hits. but nothing. just me.
fool.
he probably wouldnt get it anyway. i should tell myself things like that. i should focus on things that made me want out in the first place. it was great last week, i made a stupid one-liner joke (wish i could remember it) and he didnt get it. spent what felt like aaages explaining it. couldnt help thinking of Martin's classic "two apples and a pear and pair of apples" its corny, i kno, but despite being a lame example of his sharp wit... I've never verbally sparred with anyone like we do. (ok, except for Marcell... but in those instances, he only talks, not listens) haha, he really does live up to his steriotype: Jewish law student ;)
too bad im not interested in dating or going steady or anything of the like.
Fortuately he got the idea when i said im all for "mannizing" (to invert Britney Spears' latest "Womanizer" song) but nothing more. which was a relief.
Devin was harder thou. I want him as a friend. He wouldnt be able to get the whole use-and-abuse idea. I suspect that even Martin has issues with it. But he is fun.
I should study......
Few things matter anymore. Nothing really. Mom's faveroute saying of "[In the gand scheme of things,] It doesn't matter."
The phrase "What's the point" seems to echo through everything. There is so much I want, but the endless possibilities are, in the end, my downfall. I could be doing anything, but I always seem to make the wrong choices and end up just watching the world, feeling old and like I've let opportunities fly by me.
I suppose part - probably most - of my problem lies in the fact that I am lazy. So lazy, I wouldn't know where to start describing it. And I do try. But try is all I do.... nothing more. I never succeed. An A type personality pretending and acting like I dont give a shit. I should though.
So many people have worked hard to place me where I am today, and yet......
I was so excited for the new academic year. So burning with plans and goals.
And then it all fell apart.
I know I have only myself to blame.
but I don't know myself like this.
Ambition
Adventure
ill-work-my-ass-off-to-get-what-i-want-when-i-want-it (but accepting the impossible)
A burning desire to be an Individual, at the very least.
Never this indifference.
I still do my work at the last minute, but with a difference. I only do it because I know that if i dont do this, then i might not do the next thing... and pretty soon i would be skiing down a slope impossible to climb back up.
The only classes that I haven't arrived late to have been those which follow directly after another.
Quite simply, I have no drive.
I'm doing it again right now: playing on the root of everything.
I made a list of songs. i didnt choose them based on necessarily on their words, but their sound.
And im listening to it.
I wanted Anthony to listen, but i realise now that he wont.
I did tell him not to, after all. but i still hoped he would. I knew it was dumb telling him about it, but i had to (being the emotional idiot i am) so saying it was daft was the only real defence i could think of. childish huh? you betchya!
for over a week now, i have been going on every now and then to see if there have been any new hits. but nothing. just me.
fool.
he probably wouldnt get it anyway. i should tell myself things like that. i should focus on things that made me want out in the first place. it was great last week, i made a stupid one-liner joke (wish i could remember it) and he didnt get it. spent what felt like aaages explaining it. couldnt help thinking of Martin's classic "two apples and a pear and pair of apples" its corny, i kno, but despite being a lame example of his sharp wit... I've never verbally sparred with anyone like we do. (ok, except for Marcell... but in those instances, he only talks, not listens) haha, he really does live up to his steriotype: Jewish law student ;)
too bad im not interested in dating or going steady or anything of the like.
Fortuately he got the idea when i said im all for "mannizing" (to invert Britney Spears' latest "Womanizer" song) but nothing more. which was a relief.
Devin was harder thou. I want him as a friend. He wouldnt be able to get the whole use-and-abuse idea. I suspect that even Martin has issues with it. But he is fun.
I should study......
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Top 20 Songs of 2008
I have been trying to find new music to download, as I have recently discovered that I am unable to listen to most of my music aymore, as I have playe the same songs over and over again until they have literally died for me. I looked everywhere on the internet for a list of top songs of the year, but was unable to find a decent list. I mentioned this to a friend, and so she decided to make her own...with a little help from me! Here is the list
1) Viva La Vida- Coldplay
2) Black and God- Sam Sparro
3) Violet Hill- Coldplay
4)I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
5)Warwick Avenue- Duffy
6) Stop and Stare- One Republic
7) Leave Out All The Rest- Linkn Park
8) Hometown Glory- Adele
9) So What-Pink
10) The Man Who Can't Be Move- The Script
11) When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls
12) With You- Chris Brown
13) See You Again- Miley Cyrus
14) Hot n Cold- Katy Perry
15) Heartbreaker- Will.I.Am
16) Love Song- Sara Barielles
17) Disturbia- Rihanna
18) Can You Hear Me- Enrique Iglesius
19) Just Dance- Lady GaGa
20) Happy Ending- Mika
1) Viva La Vida- Coldplay
2) Black and God- Sam Sparro
3) Violet Hill- Coldplay
4)I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
5)Warwick Avenue- Duffy
6) Stop and Stare- One Republic
7) Leave Out All The Rest- Linkn Park
8) Hometown Glory- Adele
9) So What-Pink
10) The Man Who Can't Be Move- The Script
11) When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls
12) With You- Chris Brown
13) See You Again- Miley Cyrus
14) Hot n Cold- Katy Perry
15) Heartbreaker- Will.I.Am
16) Love Song- Sara Barielles
17) Disturbia- Rihanna
18) Can You Hear Me- Enrique Iglesius
19) Just Dance- Lady GaGa
20) Happy Ending- Mika
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
just a tad....
i had a bit of a pleasant surprise today. Logged onto here, and guess what i found? this random blog, containing the height of nonsense, has had some hits... which include some internations guests. ooo cool beans!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Screw “Standard English”. Here’s how I do things:
Awkward turdle – the phrase used in the case of an is extremely awkward situation. To be used with the complementary hand signal.
Arb –alternate. Different. Weird (in a cool way).
Bla – oh so ug.
Blinking – disgustingly annoying, irritating or dysfunctional. Or all that and more.
Bug – potentially irritate the hell out of some poor sorry sod
Chilled – laid back dude. One of those fantabulistic
Daft – an old word nicked form the attic, polished up and reintegrated into the English lingo
Drift – similar to waft. However, not to be confused with waft. General movement of the body in a specifically general direction. Behaviour of movement vaguely resembling that of a log in the sea, carried by the tide to some eventual destination. (Hence: “drift”)
Fantabulistic – not to be confused with its rather dull and common root: “fantastic”. Used in hyperactivity, generally to be avoided when in a dull mood.
Fk – use your imagination. Fill in the blanks.
Freak – can be equated with “oh damn”. An exclamation highlighting the seriously serious badness of a given situation
Freak out - panic
Geeslikes! – The perfect partner for eye-rolling
Hectic – the opposite of chilled.
Indalorious – a Simone invention. You don’t want to know. (That doesn’t mean that THAT is what “indalorious” means, more you just really don’t want to know. Trust me, I’m a doctor)
Indorable – a Simone invention. Basically, waaaay beyond baby cute.
Jump off a cliff – a perceived better pastime than facing exams. Otherwise something that other distinctly annoying individuals are advised to try.
Ja-nee – uhu… “For once in my life I really don’t know which one is the better decision”
Jippo – tweak. “Fix” things in my favour
Kettle-fish! – Ah shit.
Kiff – cool (and no, I’m not talking temperatures)
Lingo – language
Miff(ed) – badly annoyed. Similar to peeved, but stronger.
Nick – To quote Jack Sparrow: I took it with “the full intention of giving it back…” – or not.
Now now – can refer to any length of time, past or present
Peeved – similar to miffed, but more so to mildly pissed off or slightly irritated.
Poppie – a wanna-be Paris Hilton Afrikaans chickie. Thin, squeaky high voice, snazzy clothes died blond hair. Zero grey matter.
Pozzy – a place to crash (not literally) and call home
Sad, Sorry and Pathetic – pretty self-explanatory
Snazzy – smart, posh, stylish, expensive
Snaaz – diminutive of snazzy
Spivvy – another word for snazzy, but less commonly used. Tends to refer less to people and more to their possessions like house or car.
Sod – a Sad, Sorry and Pathetic person.
Tad – a bit
Toppy – old man
Tuttera – the warped version of tutor
Tweak – jippo. Perfect something.
Ug – Yuk.
Vreet – stuff yourself with food, very quickly and with a zero level of table etique
Vry - make out
Wack - out of sync
Waft – similar to drift. However, not to be confused with drift. kinda float around like a random cloud of gaseous stuff. Moving without any real point and purpose. If there is one, then it’s secondary to some greater purpose. Like aimlessness.
Zip – moving a tad faster than
Arb –alternate. Different. Weird (in a cool way).
Bla – oh so ug.
Blinking – disgustingly annoying, irritating or dysfunctional. Or all that and more.
Bug – potentially irritate the hell out of some poor sorry sod
Chilled – laid back dude. One of those fantabulistic
Daft – an old word nicked form the attic, polished up and reintegrated into the English lingo
Drift – similar to waft. However, not to be confused with waft. General movement of the body in a specifically general direction. Behaviour of movement vaguely resembling that of a log in the sea, carried by the tide to some eventual destination. (Hence: “drift”)
Fantabulistic – not to be confused with its rather dull and common root: “fantastic”. Used in hyperactivity, generally to be avoided when in a dull mood.
Fk – use your imagination. Fill in the blanks.
Freak – can be equated with “oh damn”. An exclamation highlighting the seriously serious badness of a given situation
Freak out - panic
Geeslikes! – The perfect partner for eye-rolling
Hectic – the opposite of chilled.
Indalorious – a Simone invention. You don’t want to know. (That doesn’t mean that THAT is what “indalorious” means, more you just really don’t want to know. Trust me, I’m a doctor)
Indorable – a Simone invention. Basically, waaaay beyond baby cute.
Jump off a cliff – a perceived better pastime than facing exams. Otherwise something that other distinctly annoying individuals are advised to try.
Ja-nee – uhu… “For once in my life I really don’t know which one is the better decision”
Jippo – tweak. “Fix” things in my favour
Kettle-fish! – Ah shit.
Kiff – cool (and no, I’m not talking temperatures)
Lingo – language
Miff(ed) – badly annoyed. Similar to peeved, but stronger.
Nick – To quote Jack Sparrow: I took it with “the full intention of giving it back…” – or not.
Now now – can refer to any length of time, past or present
Peeved – similar to miffed, but more so to mildly pissed off or slightly irritated.
Poppie – a wanna-be Paris Hilton Afrikaans chickie. Thin, squeaky high voice, snazzy clothes died blond hair. Zero grey matter.
Pozzy – a place to crash (not literally) and call home
Sad, Sorry and Pathetic – pretty self-explanatory
Snazzy – smart, posh, stylish, expensive
Snaaz – diminutive of snazzy
Spivvy – another word for snazzy, but less commonly used. Tends to refer less to people and more to their possessions like house or car.
Sod – a Sad, Sorry and Pathetic person.
Tad – a bit
Toppy – old man
Tuttera – the warped version of tutor
Tweak – jippo. Perfect something.
Ug – Yuk.
Vreet – stuff yourself with food, very quickly and with a zero level of table etique
Vry - make out
Wack - out of sync
Waft – similar to drift. However, not to be confused with drift. kinda float around like a random cloud of gaseous stuff. Moving without any real point and purpose. If there is one, then it’s secondary to some greater purpose. Like aimlessness.
Zip – moving a tad faster than
a quote that needs a story. il put it up for now and then add the story when i find the right one....
"He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."
on assignment: well that might be your opinion. here's mine
Comment: first-year love isn't always a charade
Hey there Starfish
Ah sex! Hate it or love it, it’s the one thing you’re not going to escape as long as you’re in the company of Rodents! (That, and alcohol.)
The thing about relationships is that the whole point to them is to eventually get down and dirty. I mean, if you are not inevitably looking for a mate, what are you after?
But, that’s not all that they are about, and they certainly are not the “glue” that holds relationships together. If anything, if entered into for the wrong reasons, sex can be the greatest destroyer of relationships. Hence the hurt.
And by the way, pain isn’t only a burden for the feminine heart. Guys hurt too – a lot. Interestingly, and contrary to common belief, I’ve seen guys far more torn up after a relationship, while the X rides off into the sunset with a new victim.
However, even the “good” guys have issues with where their blood is headed to.
As the old saying goes “A guy gives love for sex and a girl gives sex for love.” And it’s a fundamental truth in all romantic relationships.
But that doesn’t mean that above the seething sea of hormonal urges guys aren’t fantastic creatures that really just want some love. So cut them some slack, be aware of the sex issue, and if you don’t want it, make sure he knows it from the word go.
In LIfe and Love,
Good luck
THE MAGICIAN
on assignment: my opinion on a matter close to my heart....
You want my opinion? On any”common belief about first year”?
Hmm… well how about the one thing that I know is plaguing a large majority of JMS1 students: the Journalism department.
“I’m just sooo over journ! I mean, I came to Rhodes to study JMS and now I actually couldn’t care less about getting into journ2!” is a not an uncommon sentiment among students.
But why is this? I came to Rhodes, burning in anticipation of having the freedom to study what I was interested in. And I was not disappointed. Not initially anyway. Rod Amner’s Introduction to News course really got me revved up. I consumed newspapers like never before and even tuned into SAFm. Suddenly the world was opening up; I was studying at the best journalism department in the country and I was going to become a true, hardcore journalist.
But why is this? I came to Rhodes, burning in anticipation of having the freedom to study what I was interested in. And I was not disappointed. Not initially anyway. Rod Amner’s Introduction to News course really got me revved up. I consumed newspapers like never before and even tuned into SAFm. Suddenly the world was opening up; I was studying at the best journalism department in the country and I was going to become a true, hardcore journalist.
Yea right! At the moment, the thought of enduring another three years at a department that seems to think it houses the second coming is not really on the top of my “want to do” list.
Fact is, I'm bored.
Now I know that university in not supposed to be a circus (hmm…), but if it’s not here that we learn the deadline-tight-rope-dance and the ability to draw a bunny out of a hat, where are we supposed to learn? School did help, a little, but not enough to prepare us for the real stage; the “real world”, where there are no dress rehearsals and backup stage hands. As graduates, we are expected to be fully qualified magicians, able to skilfully work at the speed of light, maintaining a practiced balance between work and play. Out there, if you don't have at least one ace up your sleeve, you’re done.
Instead, more than a month into my final JMS1 course, I have five pages of lecture notes. To someone who is accustomed to taking a minimum of three per lecture (jotting down fact helps me remember) this is highly concerning. And threats of being sent to the front row if I quietly voice my irritation does nothing for my optimism for the course. Sure, the concept of blogging is a fantastic one, and I’m generally satisfied with the assignments. But the lectures… now that’s another issue entirely.
A JMS1 student vehemently vehemently states “that all lectures for first year Journalism and Media Studies students should be compulsory”. If that were the case, I think I’d almost willingly lose my DP. What I find even more disconcerting is the fact that I know that I do not speak for only myself. The idea of learning more about journalists and the blogosphere was initially very exciting. But within a week all I felt was irritation. I sat (and still do) in lectures, waiting for the hat trick – for our lecturers to be transformed from the highly patronising – and sometimes seemingly incompetent - into inspiring fellow journalists. They have much to offer, no doubt, but somehow something is lacking.
One of the core concepts that I will take away from my Drama 1 course this year is the idea of always raising the stakes, always pushing the boundaries. I want, no, I need to sit on the edge of my seat, pen in hand ready for the next invaluable point. This simply is not happening.
The “How to start your blog” lecture was almost physically painful. To me, spending an entire lecture going through something that should take any literate person a matter of minutes is a gross waste of time. And letter writing? Definitely helpful – to those still school. 
Most students are paying between R60 – R75 per lecture. In light of this, and my meagre pages of lecture notes, I really don’t feel that I’m getting my money’s worth. I fully support the core concept of the course, but just not how it is being presented.
on assignment:: profile
“It gets better before the end...and if it’s not getting better, it’s not the end.”
It’s nearly the end of Curt’s* first year at varsity, and it is, finally beginning to get better.
This year hasn’t been an easy one for this new Rhodent. He had assumed that that he would quickly establish the life-long bonds that people love claiming one forms at university. But after leaving an incredibly tightly-knit group of high-school friends, nothing measured up. He did make friends, many of them, but no “family”, as he likes to call his close friends.
In the beginning of high school, he might have been described as a first class loser. But he resolved to change, and by matric he was adored by his friends, popular, a budding hockey player, honours student and head boy; the ideal student. Then he came to varsity and things fell apart.
Home has always been a place of conflict, with constant verbal wars being waged between himself and his manic depressive mother. He says that one of his greatest fears is becoming mentally unstable like her. “Am I also going to go crazy?” he ponders. Her illness has resulted in much internal conflict within the family, as well was what Curt considers to be the worst day of his school career.
The night before the prefects were to be announced, his mother and his sister, Kristal, had an argument. In spite, his mother, who had already received a letter informing her of her son’s achievement, forbade Kristel from going to school the next day. Not having the person whom Curt values more than any other at his special day, just ruined it for him completely. He realised then that all his achievements had been an attempt to impress his parents: a childish mother and a father whose conversation rarely extended beyond the issuing of chores. From that day on, he says he was “so over it”, and with his loss of motivation went much of his lust for life. The shining star student began to falter. Fortunately, his amazingly supportive group of six friends stuck by him, giving him the strength to push on.
It was in this despondent state that Curt came to Rhodes, and found himself completely and utterly alone.
“I know that I am a strong, well put-together young man” he says. “But my one fundamental flaw is that I am only that person around my family and friends”. His friends in particular kept him grounded, and without them, he has found staying true to himself impossible. He began cheating regularly on his boyfriend, getting drunk and stoned over and over again. He knew the problem was within himself, having nothing to do with external influences. Despite his many new friends, no one was near enough to dispel the settling gloom and despair that seeped into most every aspect of his life. Despite all its problems, he wanted home.
And so, in September, he finally opened up to his father, confessing that he had had enough and wanted to come home. But, instead of agreeing to this, his father suggested that his mother come down from Johannesburg for a visit. “She’d do that? For me?” Curt says, his lively eyes opening wide. “I couldn’t believe that my Mom would actually come down for a week, just to see me.” And she did. Despite his father’s fears that they might jump at each other’s throats, mother and son bonded as never before. Thanks to her encouragement, Curt now knows that he will have the strength to face next year.
The woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself.
When asked to describe himself, he pauses and picks at the grass absentmindedly. “I'll let u know when I figure that one out, because right now I can’t even explain myself to me, let alone you.” Looking up, he frowns slightly, considering the woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself. Then he adds, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “But time will change, and one day I will be able to look in the mirror two days in a row and see the same person.”
*name changed
It’s nearly the end of Curt’s* first year at varsity, and it is, finally beginning to get better.
This year hasn’t been an easy one for this new Rhodent. He had assumed that that he would quickly establish the life-long bonds that people love claiming one forms at university. But after leaving an incredibly tightly-knit group of high-school friends, nothing measured up. He did make friends, many of them, but no “family”, as he likes to call his close friends.
In the beginning of high school, he might have been described as a first class loser. But he resolved to change, and by matric he was adored by his friends, popular, a budding hockey player, honours student and head boy; the ideal student. Then he came to varsity and things fell apart.
Home has always been a place of conflict, with constant verbal wars being waged between himself and his manic depressive mother. He says that one of his greatest fears is becoming mentally unstable like her. “Am I also going to go crazy?” he ponders. Her illness has resulted in much internal conflict within the family, as well was what Curt considers to be the worst day of his school career.
The night before the prefects were to be announced, his mother and his sister, Kristal, had an argument. In spite, his mother, who had already received a letter informing her of her son’s achievement, forbade Kristel from going to school the next day. Not having the person whom Curt values more than any other at his special day, just ruined it for him completely. He realised then that all his achievements had been an attempt to impress his parents: a childish mother and a father whose conversation rarely extended beyond the issuing of chores. From that day on, he says he was “so over it”, and with his loss of motivation went much of his lust for life. The shining star student began to falter. Fortunately, his amazingly supportive group of six friends stuck by him, giving him the strength to push on.
It was in this despondent state that Curt came to Rhodes, and found himself completely and utterly alone.
“I know that I am a strong, well put-together young man” he says. “But my one fundamental flaw is that I am only that person around my family and friends”. His friends in particular kept him grounded, and without them, he has found staying true to himself impossible. He began cheating regularly on his boyfriend, getting drunk and stoned over and over again. He knew the problem was within himself, having nothing to do with external influences. Despite his many new friends, no one was near enough to dispel the settling gloom and despair that seeped into most every aspect of his life. Despite all its problems, he wanted home.
And so, in September, he finally opened up to his father, confessing that he had had enough and wanted to come home. But, instead of agreeing to this, his father suggested that his mother come down from Johannesburg for a visit. “She’d do that? For me?” Curt says, his lively eyes opening wide. “I couldn’t believe that my Mom would actually come down for a week, just to see me.” And she did. Despite his father’s fears that they might jump at each other’s throats, mother and son bonded as never before. Thanks to her encouragement, Curt now knows that he will have the strength to face next year.
The woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself.
When asked to describe himself, he pauses and picks at the grass absentmindedly. “I'll let u know when I figure that one out, because right now I can’t even explain myself to me, let alone you.” Looking up, he frowns slightly, considering the woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself. Then he adds, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “But time will change, and one day I will be able to look in the mirror two days in a row and see the same person.”
*name changed
on assignment: a letter to my younger self
Dear Little Newbie
So, I hear that you’ve decided to take the great leap into the unknown chasm otherwise known as varsity. You must be expecting a whole new world equally overstocked with surprises and horrors. And well you should.Many people refer to university as a time of transition; a time of change and self discovery. What they don’t tell you is that it is also a time of great fear, pretence, intense loneliness and, once the novelty of freedom has worn off, acute homesickness. Ten to one, you will battle with the abhorrent feelings of anonymity and isolation – even despite having good friends.
What makes everything even worse is that when you look around you, everyone seems to be doing just fine. Yea right! Behind all those exuberant facades lie hurt, anger and fear. The worst part is that most people maintain these fake smiles so effectively that everyone else thinks they are alone in their suffering. But don’t be fooled. If you think you’re the only one battling with homesickness, think again. Behind the latched doors of their res rooms, countless new students release the tide of tears they feel they should be too old to shed.
In first year, I had the privilege of having the sweetest girl as a next door neighbor in res. Although we didn’t communicate too often, I enjoyed her company. She was such a sweet and friendly person, and when homesickness really started getting me depressed in the second term, she was very supportive. She said she knew what it meant to be depressed, to feel completely and utterly alone. But it simply didn’t seem possible that someone with such a positive demeanor could understand.
Two months later I walked into her room expecting the usual hearty hug and chat. Instead she was sitting with pills all over her dresser, trying to steady her hand enough to take them.
So expect parties, best friends and probably the best days of your life. But also be prepared for great trial.
Ever truthfully,
The New Old-timer
"Oh What Tangled Webs We Weave, When First We Practice To Decieve..."
Two girls on my corridor in res are leaving Rhodes next year. Both of them were putting off telling their friends for fear of their reactions. One was scared that friends would be angry with her for leaving but the other was concerned that nobody would care. Her friends would go about their daily lives not giving a second though to the fact that when they returned for their second year of study she would not be there to greet them.
But back to the matter at hand, both girls successfully hid their secret for three full weeks, before deciding to take the plunge and divulge. Deceit became second nature. We had residence application forms to fill in for next year. When asked if they had yet handed them in, they simply replied that they had indeed, and that the reciept was somewhere in their bedrooms.
When asked which res room they wanted for next year, they replied that they were perfectly content in the rooms that they currently had.
When asked what subjects they were taking next year, they gave they answer which would have been true if they had been staying.
And finally, when confronted with the Big Question "Are you coming back next year?", both were able to look their best friends in the eye and say "yes".
But when they finally did confess, the tangled web which they had weaved come back to haunt them. "Why did you lie to me?", "Why didn't you tell me this before?", and just plain "Why?", were heard along with the gasps of shock.
But life goes on, two minutes later, everyone had gone back to their lives, wondering what was for lunch the next day, what was new on DC, and other mundane things...
But back to the matter at hand, both girls successfully hid their secret for three full weeks, before deciding to take the plunge and divulge. Deceit became second nature. We had residence application forms to fill in for next year. When asked if they had yet handed them in, they simply replied that they had indeed, and that the reciept was somewhere in their bedrooms.
When asked which res room they wanted for next year, they replied that they were perfectly content in the rooms that they currently had.
When asked what subjects they were taking next year, they gave they answer which would have been true if they had been staying.
And finally, when confronted with the Big Question "Are you coming back next year?", both were able to look their best friends in the eye and say "yes".
But when they finally did confess, the tangled web which they had weaved come back to haunt them. "Why did you lie to me?", "Why didn't you tell me this before?", and just plain "Why?", were heard along with the gasps of shock.
But life goes on, two minutes later, everyone had gone back to their lives, wondering what was for lunch the next day, what was new on DC, and other mundane things...
Friday, October 24, 2008
The "Other" South Africans
We've all been on a holiday at the seaside. The feel of the warm summer sun on our backs, the texture of the sand beneath our feet and the coolness of the waves on our toes have always been something to look forward to. Some of us, however, take the phrase "dis leeker by die see" to the extreme.
I have a holiday home in East London, and like to consider myself an East London local, rather than a "vaalie" as other people from my hometown are often reffered to. One of the reasons I like to pretnd I am a local is to be spared the embarrassment that comes from being associated with the habits of some people from up country. Why, for instance, do they feel the need to drag chairs, umbrella's and occasionally tents to the beach? Local are perfeclty satisfied with a towel, a pair of slops and perhaps some change with which to buy an ice cream. They also do not think to check when the next high tide will be before setting all this stuff up well below the high water mark. At least it is entertaining to see them screaming and running into the water to try and find their possessions which have been washed away while they were tanning. And than there are the patterns of sunburn which cause a person to wonder exactly what they wore to the beach that day.
Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I am quite sure that there are shopping malls in Joburg, and they are not some strange inventions created by the coastal locals. But from observing these strange people who come on holiday, you would think that they had been deprived of shopping their entire lives. Local shopping centers are simply flooded during holiday season, to the extent where it is impossible for locals to do their daily shopping.
After years of careful observation, I have concluded that these people are simply another species all together!
I have a holiday home in East London, and like to consider myself an East London local, rather than a "vaalie" as other people from my hometown are often reffered to. One of the reasons I like to pretnd I am a local is to be spared the embarrassment that comes from being associated with the habits of some people from up country. Why, for instance, do they feel the need to drag chairs, umbrella's and occasionally tents to the beach? Local are perfeclty satisfied with a towel, a pair of slops and perhaps some change with which to buy an ice cream. They also do not think to check when the next high tide will be before setting all this stuff up well below the high water mark. At least it is entertaining to see them screaming and running into the water to try and find their possessions which have been washed away while they were tanning. And than there are the patterns of sunburn which cause a person to wonder exactly what they wore to the beach that day.
Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I am quite sure that there are shopping malls in Joburg, and they are not some strange inventions created by the coastal locals. But from observing these strange people who come on holiday, you would think that they had been deprived of shopping their entire lives. Local shopping centers are simply flooded during holiday season, to the extent where it is impossible for locals to do their daily shopping.
After years of careful observation, I have concluded that these people are simply another species all together!
lets see it all together:
a blog. a comment and a comment on a comment. here goes:
The debate on the viability of (Rhodes) university lectures:
You say “we are here to pass, especially as first years”. Rubbish! To get accepted into Journalism II, we need at least 65% at the end of the year to even be considered a spot. Just a pass will not suffice.
R75 a lecture? If that money was coming out of your pocket I’m pretty sure you’d reconsider missing all those psych lectures. It’s your parent’s money that you are throwing under your shoe and on which you’re stomping, not yours.
As for me, I’ve got a dawny tomorrow so I’m going to get some shut-eye. I hope you reconsider and attend your last week of lectures in First Year.sdfdsf
Well that's no fun! so here's what yours truly had to say....
The Magician said...
The debate on the viability of (Rhodes) university lectures:
Who Needs Lectures?
It is Monday night, and I have an important law test tomorrow, but I am stressing because I haven't had a chance to study for it today. I woke up at 7, ready to turn a new leaf and actually go to my psychology lecture, only to fall asleep because the monotonous tone of the lecturer is too great to cope. Next is sociology, and the lecturer reads from the slides, believe it or not something I am more than capable of doing, and she brings up the occasional 'valuable' points that I can figure out for myself anyway. Next is journalism, a lecture dedicated to the assignment we have to do the next day. I would much rather just get it done in good time than listen amongst the rubble of noise about something once again, already on the slides. At the end of the day, it leaves me wondering, why did I choose this over studying for what really counts?
We pay R75 a lecture. When you look at it that way, you would think that missing a lecture would be unthinkable. But the reality is, missing lectures really isn't the end of the world. In fact, going to lectures is often a waste of time, when you could be completing an assignment or studying for a test in the precious hours that you have.
I did a bit of research on the importance of attending lectures, but what I found was a quote saying "a lot of students do this (miss lectures) and just study a lot before the exam and end up with 80%, moderate grades." Moderate grades? I couldn't be happier if I got 80% for all my grades. For the last psychology module, I did crack a first for the test, without attending a single lecture. So why should I bother going to lectures if I can get respectable grades? Some students want to excel in their academics, but after all, we are here to pass, especially as first years. Another site I found talks about all the steps one should take before, during and after lectures. Is it really necessary to "evaluate the lecturers style" and "listen for intonation to know when ideas have been completed?" I know that if I tried to do that, I would have too much on my mind to focus on what really matters, the tests, assignments and then exams. You can participate and take down as much notes as you want, but if you don't complete your assignments or pass your exams, you get thrown out of the university. Simple as that.
In fairness to lectures, if you pay full attention, and take down a lot of notes, you are more likely to have a greater capacity to perform in tests and assignments. But with all the other issues going on in one's life, including that 2000 word assignment that is due for midnight on that very day, it is a lot to ask of oneself. Missing lectures can affect your conscience, leaving you pondering on whether you missed out on something important, and whether your friends who did go, are a step ahead of you. I can't speak on behalf of everyone, but I've found that more times than not, I haven't missed out on anything. The typical response to me asking "How was the lecture?" is "Ah, same old same old. Boring and pointless."
On the day of the law test, I decided to miss all my lectures. Luckily, the test was only at 7 that night, leaving me with ample time to study during the day. I studied effectively, and felt calm and ready for the once dreaded occasion. After the test, I asked my friend how he did. "I struggled hey, I didn't study hard enough." "How were your lectures today?" I asked him, knowing that he was a regular attender. Boring, fell asleep and useless were words I picked up in his response. And how did I do in that test? Watch this space.
Dude, I couldn't agree with you more. Evidently though, not everyone else did...
here's the reply that was posted:
You are part of the select few at Rhodes who can write tests and do assignments without attending lectures and still receive good marks. There are, however, roughly 6300 students at Rhodes of which I say about 300 are capable of doing what you do. For the rest of us, we have to attend lectures because we need that little bit of extra material to base our studies on.
You say “we are here to pass, especially as first years”. Rubbish! To get accepted into Journalism II, we need at least 65% at the end of the year to even be considered a spot. Just a pass will not suffice.
R75 a lecture? If that money was coming out of your pocket I’m pretty sure you’d reconsider missing all those psych lectures. It’s your parent’s money that you are throwing under your shoe and on which you’re stomping, not yours.
As for me, I’ve got a dawny tomorrow so I’m going to get some shut-eye. I hope you reconsider and attend your last week of lectures in First Year.sdfdsf
Well that's no fun! so here's what yours truly had to say....
The Magician said...
It would be interesting to know just how many students could ace their exams with minimal lecture attendance. Personally, I dutifully attend as many lectures as I possibly can. The results, however, have proven to be, for me at any rate, to be just like high school: self study is the way. Lectures are vital for orientating oneself and keeping track of what's going on. But beyond that... little more than a loyal waste of time.
Good luck,
hope you took plenty of useful notes.
the magician
http://www.bethecurtainfalls.blogspot.com
enrich your mind with these succulent tit-bits
Thou bawdy beetle-headed barnacle!
Thou artless pottle-deep jolt-head!
[Thou] stale old mouse eaten dry cheese!
If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.
Taken from: Hamlet
Thou art the rudeliest welcome to this world.
Taken from: Pericles
Thou fobbing idle-headed strumpet!
Assume a virtue if you have it not.
Taken from: Hamlet
succulent
Thou wimpled elf-skinned nut-hook!
oh, but THIS one... this one is a classic:
Thou artless pottle-deep jolt-head!
[Thou] stale old mouse eaten dry cheese!
If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.
Taken from: Hamlet
Thou art the rudeliest welcome to this world.
Taken from: Pericles
Thou fobbing idle-headed strumpet!
Assume a virtue if you have it not.
Taken from: Hamlet
succulent
Thou wimpled elf-skinned nut-hook!
oh, but THIS one... this one is a classic:
About the only worthwhile thing you can learn from a bore is how truly golden silence can be.
-O. A. Battista
for more fantastic quotes to tickle your fancy, hit http://www.pangloss.com/index.html
for more fantastic quotes to tickle your fancy, hit http://www.pangloss.com/index.html
what education sometimes unwittingly makes me feel like saying...
O teach me how I should forget to think.
the latest in quirky quotes from the Shakespearean insulter
some thoughts, beginning in frustration, ending much the same
still feelin pretty miffed about the phone call from earlier this eve. sucks ass.
i mean, am i being over sensitive? probably ya. childish, probably. but come one! i cant help wondering how he'd have help had i called him a "boertjie" (he's so darn Afrikaans at times, he might just brim with pride) or how about a "dutchman" then. no, better still... rock spider. i know that one has a whole history behind why the English use that as a yuk name for the Afr, but i cant remember it.
"rock spider" has just reminded me about stephen. amazing how thoughts can drift. i miss him. "Stoof" was like my big brother. oh i loved him dearly. and i miss him. wish things hadnt fallen apart as they did. but he changed. we all did towards the end of matric. and the change wasn't a good one. poisoned by the twin's bitterness towards Sasol high. i still wonder why they were there if all they ever had to say about the place was negative shit. oh they sucked. but were good friends. to an extent, dont want to think what they said about me bahind my back.
oh, back to work....
another sterling example of our sterling democracy
According to News 24, the well-known crim-investigation unit, the Scorpions, have finally reached the end of their road:
"Cape Town - The Scorpions have reached the end of the road after the National Assembly approved new legislation on Thursday to disband the investigating unit and incorporate it into the police service."
the ANC won the vote by a wopping 252 to 63.
I imagine that they must be feeling that must be the proof of a democratic vote. but is it?
I think not. while the ANC has been zealously pushing for the disbandment of the Scorpions for a long time now, they have ignored what the rest of the country has to say.
The ANC seems to be of the opion that they are the supreme power in the country; that they are untoutcable and somehow above everyone. But explain this to me. how can you be both servant and dictator?
true leadership is synonnumous with serving.
if the ANC was aware of this, or rather, if they cared about t
his, then they wouldnt have snuffed the notorious scorpions. but no. the powers that be dont like the idea of haveing thier dirty dealings exposed, instead opting to have them incorporated into the SAPS. haha, like thats going to help! i mean, if chief of police is about as corrupt as they come...ooo dear....
ooo the memories... lets hope not...
... what i mean is, i hope that theyre not going to become just memories. id like them to continue being part of my present.
its playing again. the song. as soppy as it is, last Christmas i made Anthony a tape with songs on it (duh). anyway, they were songs that said something specific that i wanted to say or express to him. this song was one of them:
"You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson
Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I'd become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back
I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know?
How did you know?
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
(You found me)
(When no one else was lookin')
You found me
(How did you know just where I would be?)
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between
You found me
You found me
its playing again. the song. as soppy as it is, last Christmas i made Anthony a tape with songs on it (duh). anyway, they were songs that said something specific that i wanted to say or express to him. this song was one of them:
"You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson
Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I'd become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back
I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know?
How did you know?
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
(You found me)
(When no one else was lookin')
You found me
(How did you know just where I would be?)
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between
You found me
You found me
THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY
“It gets better before the end...and if it’s not getting better, it’s not the end.”
It’s nearly the end of Curt’s* first year at varsity, and it is, finally beginning to get better.
This year hasn’t been an easy one for this new Rhodent. He had assumed that that he would quickly establish the life-long bonds that people love claiming one forms at university. But after leaving an incredibly tightly-knit group of high-school friends, nothing measured up. He did make friends, many of them, but no “family”, as he likes to call his close friends.
In the beginning of high school, he might have been described as a first class loser. But he resolved to change, and by matric he was adored by his friends, popular, a budding hockey player, honours student and head boy; the ideal student. Then he came to varsity and things fell apart.
Home has always been a place of conflict, with constant verbal wars being waged between himself and his manic depressive mother. He says that one of his greatest fears is becoming mentally unstable like her. “Am I also going to go crazy?” he ponders. Her illness has resulted in much internal conflict within the family, as well was what Curt considers to be the worst day of his school career.
The night before the prefects were to be announced, his mother and his sister, Kristal, had an argument. In spite, his mother, who had already received a letter informing her of her son’s achievement, forbade Kristel from going to school the next day. Not having the person whom Curt values more than any other at his special day, just ruined it for him completely. He realised then that all his achievements had been an attempt to impress his parents: a childish mother and a father whose conversation rarely extended beyond the issuing of chores. From that day on, he says he was “so over it”, and with his loss of motivation went much of his lust for life. The shining star student began to falter. Fortunately, his amazingly supportive group of six friends stuck by him, giving him the strength to push on.
It was in this despondent state that Curt came to Rhodes, and found himself completely and utterly alone.
“I know that I am a strong, well put-together young man” he says. “But my one fundamental flaw is that I am only that person around my family and friends”. His friends in particular kept him grounded, and without them, he has found staying true to himself impossible. He began cheating regularly on his boyfriend, getting drunk and stoned over and over again. He knew the problem was within himself, having nothing to do with external influences. Despite his many new friends, no one was near enough to dispel the settling gloom and despair that seeped into most every aspect of his life. Despite all its problems, he wanted home.
And so, in September, he finally opened up to his father, confessing that he had had enough and wanted to come home. But, instead of agreeing to this, his father suggested that his mother come down from Johannesburg for a visit. “She’d do that? For me?” Curt says, his lively eyes opening wide. “I couldn’t believe that my Mom would actually come down for a week, just to see me.” And she did. Despite his father’s fears that they might jump at each other’s throats, mother and son bonded as never before. Thanks to her encouragement, Curt now knows that he will have the strength to face next year.
The woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself.
When asked to describe himself, he pauses and picks at the grass absentmindedly. “I'll let u know when I figure that one out, because right now I can’t even explain myself to me, let alone you.” Looking up, he frowns slightly, considering the woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself. Then he adds, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “But time will change, and one day I will be able to look in the mirror two days in a row and see the same person.”
*name changed
It’s nearly the end of Curt’s* first year at varsity, and it is, finally beginning to get better.
This year hasn’t been an easy one for this new Rhodent. He had assumed that that he would quickly establish the life-long bonds that people love claiming one forms at university. But after leaving an incredibly tightly-knit group of high-school friends, nothing measured up. He did make friends, many of them, but no “family”, as he likes to call his close friends.
In the beginning of high school, he might have been described as a first class loser. But he resolved to change, and by matric he was adored by his friends, popular, a budding hockey player, honours student and head boy; the ideal student. Then he came to varsity and things fell apart.
Home has always been a place of conflict, with constant verbal wars being waged between himself and his manic depressive mother. He says that one of his greatest fears is becoming mentally unstable like her. “Am I also going to go crazy?” he ponders. Her illness has resulted in much internal conflict within the family, as well was what Curt considers to be the worst day of his school career.
The night before the prefects were to be announced, his mother and his sister, Kristal, had an argument. In spite, his mother, who had already received a letter informing her of her son’s achievement, forbade Kristel from going to school the next day. Not having the person whom Curt values more than any other at his special day, just ruined it for him completely. He realised then that all his achievements had been an attempt to impress his parents: a childish mother and a father whose conversation rarely extended beyond the issuing of chores. From that day on, he says he was “so over it”, and with his loss of motivation went much of his lust for life. The shining star student began to falter. Fortunately, his amazingly supportive group of six friends stuck by him, giving him the strength to push on.
It was in this despondent state that Curt came to Rhodes, and found himself completely and utterly alone.
“I know that I am a strong, well put-together young man” he says. “But my one fundamental flaw is that I am only that person around my family and friends”. His friends in particular kept him grounded, and without them, he has found staying true to himself impossible. He began cheating regularly on his boyfriend, getting drunk and stoned over and over again. He knew the problem was within himself, having nothing to do with external influences. Despite his many new friends, no one was near enough to dispel the settling gloom and despair that seeped into most every aspect of his life. Despite all its problems, he wanted home.
And so, in September, he finally opened up to his father, confessing that he had had enough and wanted to come home. But, instead of agreeing to this, his father suggested that his mother come down from Johannesburg for a visit. “She’d do that? For me?” Curt says, his lively eyes opening wide. “I couldn’t believe that my Mom would actually come down for a week, just to see me.” And she did. Despite his father’s fears that they might jump at each other’s throats, mother and son bonded as never before. Thanks to her encouragement, Curt now knows that he will have the strength to face next year.
The woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself.
When asked to describe himself, he pauses and picks at the grass absentmindedly. “I'll let u know when I figure that one out, because right now I can’t even explain myself to me, let alone you.” Looking up, he frowns slightly, considering the woman responsible for the worst day in his school career has now become a role model, saving him from himself. Then he adds, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “But time will change, and one day I will be able to look in the mirror two days in a row and see the same person.”
*name changed
First-year love isnt always a charade
Hey there Starfish
Ah sex! Hate it or love it, it’s the one thing you’re not going to escape as long as you’re in the company of Rodents! (That, and alcohol.)
The thing about relationships is that the whole point to them is to eventually get down and dirty. I mean, if you are not inevitably looking for a mate, what are you after?
But, that’s not all that they are about, and they certainly are not the “glue” that holds relationships together. If anything, if entered into for the wrong reasons, sex can be the greatest destroyer of relationships. Hence the hurt.
And by the way, pain isn’t only a burden for the feminine heart. Guys hurt too – a lot. Interestingly, and contrary to common belief, I’ve seen guys far more torn up after a relationship, while the X rides off into the sunset with a new victim.
However, even the “good” guys have issues with where their blood is headed to.
As the old saying goes “A guy gives love for sex and a girl gives sex for love.” And it’s a fundamental truth in all romantic relationships.
But that doesn’t mean that above the seething sea of hormonal urges guys aren’t fantastic creatures that really just want some love. So cut them some slack, be aware of the sex issue, and if you don’t want it, make sure he knows it from the word go.
In LIfe and Love,
Good luck
THE MAGICIAN
Ah sex! Hate it or love it, it’s the one thing you’re not going to escape as long as you’re in the company of Rodents! (That, and alcohol.)
The thing about relationships is that the whole point to them is to eventually get down and dirty. I mean, if you are not inevitably looking for a mate, what are you after?
But, that’s not all that they are about, and they certainly are not the “glue” that holds relationships together. If anything, if entered into for the wrong reasons, sex can be the greatest destroyer of relationships. Hence the hurt.
And by the way, pain isn’t only a burden for the feminine heart. Guys hurt too – a lot. Interestingly, and contrary to common belief, I’ve seen guys far more torn up after a relationship, while the X rides off into the sunset with a new victim.
However, even the “good” guys have issues with where their blood is headed to.
As the old saying goes “A guy gives love for sex and a girl gives sex for love.” And it’s a fundamental truth in all romantic relationships.
But that doesn’t mean that above the seething sea of hormonal urges guys aren’t fantastic creatures that really just want some love. So cut them some slack, be aware of the sex issue, and if you don’t want it, make sure he knows it from the word go.
In LIfe and Love,
Good luck
THE MAGICIAN
A brief glossary on “South Africanisms”
A guide to South African English: Afrikaans words incorporated into daily language
Nee - no
Dankie – thanks
Lappie – small piece of cloth (face cloth, wash cloth: wash “lappie”)
Nee - no
Dankie – thanks
Lappie – small piece of cloth (face cloth, wash cloth: wash “lappie”)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
feeding the Ego, part 1
Uuug. The joys about pear-shaped phone conversations! Just had ANOTHER one with (what should be) my better half. Thing is, I once heard (or I might have thought of this myself…) one of the fundamental rules of being the gal in a relationship is simply keeping his ego well-fed. When one thinks about this, it’s really pretty true. Big ego = a happy chappy. Women have proven time and again that you can get a guy to do almost anything if he thinks it makes him bigger and better. Kinda like a big, half wild dog: keep its belly full and it happy and it’s your loyal “best friend”. But abuse it in anyway and that’s it; you’re gonna be turned on, and that’s it; you’re gonna be turned on, and you will be the next meal to fill its belly and satisfy it.
If you want to, feel free to refute this. But it’s true.
There are two fundamental behavioral rules that should always be followed if one wishes to keep the beast happy:
1) Act (with “act” being the operative word) like the cute, innocent, little angel-eyed girl who needs a hero.
2) Never ever tease him, as this violates the unspoken law of physically abusing his ego. Its pretty much inline with the law that forbids a guy from informing his gal that her bum is big (which, when we come right down to it, means that he aint getting any. So of course it’s a law he never wants to violate).
If you want to, feel free to refute this. But it’s true.
There are two fundamental behavioral rules that should always be followed if one wishes to keep the beast happy:
1) Act (with “act” being the operative word) like the cute, innocent, little angel-eyed girl who needs a hero.
2) Never ever tease him, as this violates the unspoken law of physically abusing his ego. Its pretty much inline with the law that forbids a guy from informing his gal that her bum is big (which, when we come right down to it, means that he aint getting any. So of course it’s a law he never wants to violate).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
RSS Feed (xml)